Taking it to the Limit…

August 10, 2012

I find it ironic that yesterday I posted about the possible tendonitis I have in my left knee. Last night during my stadium workout, I slipped on a stair doing one leg stair jumps. I caught myself, but I knew I landed a little funny. I had a hard time finishing the stairs, and a really tough time completing the walking lunges right after.

I’m lucky because it happened at the end of my workout. My knee has been sore for a while and felt a little more sore after that fall. I walked up to my car, drove to my friend Sasha’s for our workout sesh and iced the crap out of my hip and knee. But the pain just got worse. I foam rolled my entire body for over an hour, took some anti inflammatory meds, and kept icing.

A few hours later, I realized I could barely drive. So I drove to the bf’s. I couldn’t get comfortable. Standing, sitting, laying down. It all hurt. It was getting late and I was getting frustrated. We had a trip planned for this weekend that requires a lot of driving. Could I do it? What is causing all this pain? The bf and his mom tried their absolute best to make me comfortable and help ease the pain. But finally I couldn’t do it anymore. The pain became too much and I broke down.

I should have gone to the doctor’s earlier. I should have called someone earlier. I should have taken care of myself. But I didn’t. I waited. And I waited because I kept thinking it couldn’t be as bad as it felt. And now today I’m paying the price.
Last night I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t find a comfortable position, so today I’m exhausted. Exhausted from crying, exhausted from the pain, and exhausted from all the hard work I’ve put my body through over the last few months.

After seeing my chiropractor and general physician today, I know I’ve severely bruised my hip socket and pelvis and have possible tares in my knee. The hip and pelvis make it very difficult to sit up right in a chair or while driving, and my knee is making it hard to cross my legs or just take a step.  So what did both doctors tell me? Rest. Ice. Anti-inflammatories.

Sometimes things happen for a reason. People miss flights they shouldn’t have been on, meet someone at the right place at the right time, etc. This experience has made me stop to think about the journey I’ve chosen to take to be healthier and more in tune with my body. As much as I’ve shifted the way I look at food and eat, I’ve also shifted the way I train. The obsessive tendencies I have towards food may have shifted to my workouts. And I can honestly say I am addicted to my workouts. Today is the first day in a very long time that I’ve missed a scheduled workout, and I feel ancy. Anxious.  So maybe this injury happened for a reason. To give me the opportunity to look at the way I train. Not just physically, but mentally. I have a tendency to push myself very hard when I want something and have a goal in mind.

When you’re on a journey like I am, with no real end or ultimate goal, the pushing never stops. So sometimes you need to take a breath and pause to look at all that you’ve achieved, appreciate where you are today, and look forward to where your headed. And in my case, ice the crap out of my knee and hip 🙂

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Yesterday’s workout didn’t go quite as planned. I was hoping to run 2 1/2 miles with a nice warm up and cool down.  Yeah- that didnt quite happen. I started my run with an eight minute warm up (very hilly) and once I reached some flat surface I started jogging. Around a 1/2 mile my right glute was screaming at me… and then the balls of my feet started screaming at me. What the hell is going on, I just ran a 5k this weekend! So at 3/4 mile, I decided to walk for a bit, stretch some things out and try to change my running style a  bit.

After two minutes of walking I started running again. A half a mile in, the balls of my feet were screaming, and now both my right and left butt cheek glutes were  killing me. And I hit a hill. *sigh* I realized at that point that I wasn’t enjoying my run like I had wanted to. I was forcing my body to do something it just didn’t want to do. My pride/ego was telling me not to quit, to suck it up, and keep running. But me, the real me, was saying, “whats the big deal. you’re sore. its ok” The “its ok” resonated with me. It is ok. This is ok. I am ok. Why was I putting so much pressure on myself to run for 2 1/2 miles (through a lot of hills mind you)? Why was I beating myself up, making me feel like I’m a failure, and then snowballing to all the horrible negative self talk I’ve ever done (“its because you’re fat, you’re not at the weight you should be, you’re carrying around an extra 20 lbs no wonder you cant run that much, blah blah blah) I hate my ego- it causes me nothing but pain, anxiety, nervousness , and doubt.

So I said, shut the f*ck up!!! get out! And I turned on some Breaking Benjamin and continued my workout. I ended up running a little less than a mile after that and had a nice cool down home. And it was awesome.

However, when I got home, my feet were killing me. The blisters I got from Sunday’s run were much worse, plus I had a new blood blister. My glutes, quads and calves were so sore I could barely stretch. So I remembered what many of you avid runners do after a long run (not 3 miles, but lets overlook that lol). An ice bath. Yep, a freezing cold bath full of ice to help those sore muscles. My ice bath went a little something like this:

Me: Leash- I’m gonna take an ice bath

Leash: A what?

Me: An ice bath.

Leash: why

Me: Because I’m sore and thats what you’re suppose to do when you’re really really sore

Leash: that sounds like a terrible idea

Me: yeah i think its gonna be rough. wanna get me some ice while I fill the tub?

Leash: Not really

Me: Just do it

Leash: ok

(I start filling the tub, realizing that the cold water doesn’t come out as fast as the hot water…)

Leash: I think I have frost bite on my hands.

Me: Just dump it all in the tub, it’ll be good.

Leash: It’s gonna melt you know.

Me: The water isnt hot leash, its cold

Leash: oh (pours the ice in) I think you need more ice

Me: Yeah- can you get more?

(At this point I decide to get in the tub with a towel wrapped around my upper body (still in my workout clothes)

Leash: We used up all of moms ice. Shes gonna be pissed

Me: Its not like she uses a ton of ice at night. It’ll be fine.

Leash: Do you want a scarf or something?

Me: yeah, and a sweat shirt.

Leash: Maybe some ear muffs too

Me: and mittens.

15 minutes of pure goosebumps and I completed my first ice bath. Granted I’m sure I did not put as much ice as I should have, but still. This morning I woke up almost sore free. So I can say, ice baths do work. They suck, but they work.

Till next time… peace out home skillets.